Taken
by Dine7184
Summary: [DL] Finally Danny and Lindsay are having everything they've ever wished for. Now they’ve been married for over a year and for 6 months they've been proud parents of a beautiful little daughter. But it seems that Danny’s past will never let him go.
1. Chapter 1

**Taken**  
**Fandom:** CSI: NY  
**Pairing:** Danny/Lindsay  
**Rating:** T  
**Category:** Angst, Drama, Romance  
**Summary:** Finally Danny and Lindsay are having everything they ever wished for. Now they've been married for over a year and for 6 months they are proud parents of a beautiful little daughter. But it seems that Danny's past will never let him go.  
**AN:** The first chapters will lead you from past to present to see what is actually happening. The transition between past and present will be done with flashbacks and Pipelines. I hope you'll like it and that the whole thing isn't too confusing. Enjoy!  
**Many thanks** are going **to Pepite** for giving me so many (great) ideas on it, especially on the feelings and doings of Lindsay. **Pepi, you're the best** and I'm glad to call you friend.  
**Disclaimer:** Yeah, CBS owns all of the fun, I just borrowed it

* * *

**Chapter One**

Lindsay was holding onto him. She grabbed his shirt and cried. Danny was holding her tightly, holding her, absorbed in deep thoughts and full of fear for their little daughter.

_How could something like that happen?_

He didn't know. All he knew was that he would do everything conceivable to hold his daughter back in his arms again, to give her back to Lindsay, to see Lindsay happy again.

He stroked Lindsay's hair and kissed her forehead. She was still crying. Gently he freed himself from her. He wanted to get up, but she stopped him to do so.

"Don't leave me, Danny" she said and cried.

"Honey, I will never leave you!" Lindsay was still sobbing. Danny grabbed her face so that she had to face him. "Hear me? I will never leave you. Okay?" he asked. Lindsay nodded.

"I just want to call Don."

Lindsay nodded, but let not go of him. "I wanna talk to him, too. Please!" she begged. It tore him apart. He closed his eyes to not see her this way. A few tears fell down his cheeks, so he turned away from her. He sighed.

As he turned back to her, he knelt at her side and caressed her cheeks.  
"You should take some rest, Lindsay. I will take care of it. I promise. Let me speak to him alone. The whole thing is hard enough for you."

"But… I'm her mother. I want my baby back!" She began to cry again. "Danny… I want my baby back!" She fell into his arms. Danny held her tightly and stroked her hair.

"Shh, Lindsay everything will be fine. I just know it. You'll see. You have to take some rest. Please Lindsay" he begged.

Still sobbing she nodded. "Okay" she said.

Danny lifted her chin to give her a slow kiss. Then he kissed her tears away. She was shivering as he did so. As he placed a kiss on her forehead he guided her to lie down on the couch. "Try to sleep. I'll be here. Remember?" Lindsay nodded.

"Danny?" she asked.

"Yeah"

"I love you so much." Danny smiled slightly.

"I love you, too. We're going through this, Lindsay" he nodded. She held his hand tightly. Danny wanted to let go of her, but she held onto him.

"Danny?" she asked again. He nodded.

"Could you bring me Emily's horse?" Danny saw tears falling down her cheeks. He nodded again.

"Sure" he whispered.

He kissed her forehead and got up.

* * *

He sighed as he was about to enter his daughters' room. Everything was on its place. He leaned on the doorframe. He couldn't just walk in. There was a silence in this room he was so afraid of. He was so afraid that he would never hear the giggling of Lindsay again, while she was powdering and swaddling Emily. He closed his eyes as he felt tears coming back to his eyes. 

Finally he walked into the room. Somehow he managed to walk to her baby cot. He smiled as he looked at the pictures of Lindsay with her bump and the first picture of Emily hanging on the wall. She was so tiny. Back then he was so afraid that he could break something as he carried her the first time. And now… he shook his head and touched the frame. He had promised that he would do everything to protect her. He'd break this promise. What was he going to do, if he would never see her again? He didn't know. He looked down into the empty bed and sighed as he took her little stuffed horse out of the bed. Then he turned around and left the room.

* * *

"Linds?" he asked. She nodded. Danny knelt down beside her and gave her the stuffed horse he was carrying. Then he gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Now go to sleep" he said. She nodded again. 

Lindsay held the stuffed horse tightly. She could smell the baby powder that was still on it. She could smell her daughter. Tears came to her eyes. She held onto the last time she'd heard her daughters laugh. She held onto the stuffed horse which made her daughter always giggling. She held onto every single memory of her, just to keep the hope alive.

Danny was stroking her hair. "I love you" he whispered. Then he got up and took the blanket which was hanging over the armrest and put it over Lindsay.

* * *

TBC... please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you guys for all your reviews on chapter one. I really, really appreciate it and you really make my day with every single word you left. You really rock. Special thanks to **Pepite** who is helping me alot with this.

**AN: **The following chapters will be the past. I hope it'll be not this confusing, but I try to show what is actually happening in Lindsay's and Danny's life. I really hope you enjoy reading. The transition between past and present will be done with flashbacks and timelines.

* * *

**Chapter Two **

**1 year and ****8 months earlier**

"Lindsay?" He watched her for over an hour now and just couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was so beautiful. He lay besides her and touched softly her nose with a fingertip. "Linds?" he asked again.

Slowly she woke up. As she opened her eyes she smiled immediately. "Hey" she whispered.

"Hey" Danny responded. He smiled. _Today's the day, _he thought. _Today I'm gonna ask her to marry me. _

"What time is it?"

"Well we have still enough time to have breakfast together" he said smiling.

"Mmmh, good idea" Lindsay said and stretched herself. Still smiling Danny gave her a kiss on her nose. Then he got up, left the bedroom and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for both of them.

* * *

Lindsay could hear him humming, so she got up and walked slowly into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his waist and said: "It smells good." She gave him a kiss on his naked shoulder and cuddled into him. He smiled. 

"I know" he said and turned to her to give her a long slow kiss.

"Mmh," she said. "That tastes even better."

* * *

"You're so lucky. You have the late shift" he said after he'd taken one sip of his coffee and rubbed his nose and eyes. 

"Oh don't call this luck" she said a little disappointed. "So I won't be able to see you today in the lab"

"Well," Danny smirked. "You'll see me tonight in this bed there" he said and pointed to his bedroom.

Lindsay smiled. "Ah, actually it's your turn to sleep over at my place!" she said reproachfully.

"Why don't you move in here?" Danny asked. Surprised to hear this question she didn't know what to say. Danny could see by her surprised facial expression that she wasn't sure what to response. He smiled.

"Linds you're almost every day at my place. Why don't you move in here?"

"I'll think about it, okay?" she promised. Then she leaned over to him and gave him a kiss. Danny took a look at his watch. It told him that it was time to finish his breakfast with the only woman he could imagine to spend the rest of his life with and go to work. He smiled as he got up and said: "Got to go, Montana." She nodded.

* * *

They were standing outside the house Danny's apartment was in. A cold wind blew and Lindsay was shivering. Danny took her in his arms and cuddled her. 

„Will see you tonight, right?!" he was almost begging. Lindsay nodded.

"Sure you will" she said. Danny smiled. He took her face in his hands and gave her a long slow kiss.

"Love ya" he whispered as they finally parted.

"I love you, too." Lindsay said. He rubbed warmth in her cold arms as he gave her one last slow kiss. Then he began to walk down the stairs.

* * *

"_Will see you tonight, right?!"_ he could hear Messer's voice. Anger erupted inside of him as he saw the guy, who was responsible for arresting Sonny Sassone. He'd sworn to Sonny that he would bring pain to Danny Messer, that he would never forget the Tanglewood Boys again. 

But not today! He could wait. He had all the time in the world. The revenge would come slowly and then there would be no turning back.

He saw Danny leaving and soon he pulled back into the shadow he came from, waiting for his chance, and waiting for a chance to destroy the life of Danny Messer once and for all.

* * *

"Bonasera" 

"Hey Stella, it's me. Danny" Danny said as she answered his call. "Sorry to call you on your day off…"

"It's okay, Danny" she said a little bit sleepy. Danny smirked. He knew that she loved to stay long in bed when she (finally) had one day off from lab. It was okay for him, 'cause he loves it, too… even more with Lindsay at his side. "What is it?" she asked.

He waited with the answer. He wasn't sure if he could ask her, but since she's been his and Lindsay's friend he thought he could take the risk.

"Stell, I was wondering if you could do me a favor." Silence. _Damn,_ he thought.

"What favor?"

"Could you change shifts with Linds tonight?" Again, he waited for an answer. "Stell?" Danny could hear her squeeing.

"You wanna do it, won't you?"

"What?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Daniel Messer." Now she sounded like his mother. Danny was grinning. Then she continued. "You will propose to her."

"What makes you think that I would ever do that?" he said trying to hide the happiness in his voice.

"Cause I know you, Danny. I know this is serious, that you've been changed for the better, because of her."

"Ya, you're right. I want to ask her to marry me."

"Sure I will take her shift."

"Thank you Stell."

"You're doing the right thing, kiddo." she said. "Danny, you're going to be married. Oh my … I actually never thought I would see this day comin'." She said grinning.

"You're sounding like my mother" he grinned.

"Well, thanks for that." she said, but she didn't meant it the serious way. She was truly happy for both of them. Finally they found happiness and they could let their past, which had hurt them so much, behind to start a new, better life together.

* * *

Like it??? I really hope so. Please review. ... _TBC_... 


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you guys for all your supporting reviews for the first chapters. I really love you.

**AN:** Chapter 3 is still happening in the past, right after the timeline of Chapter 2. I hope you like it.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"Danny?" Lindsay asked as she'd heard the door closed.

"I'm here," Danny called out of the kitchen.

"You're home early" she said.

"Well I was able to leave the lab earlier than expected" he said and closed the fridge.

„Unfortunately I have to go pretty soon. Actually I'm pretty late." Lindsay walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen. Danny gave her a quick kiss. He saw that she just came out of the shower. Her hair was soaking, and on her shoulder were water pearls glistening.

Danny smiled. "You're not going anywhere, Montana."

Lindsay smirked. "Danny, what you're talking about?" She touched his cheek and caressed it. "I have to go to work."

Danny shook his head. "Nope, you don't."

Lindsay looked at him confused.

"Stella took your shift and you're going with me into a nice restaurant, and we'll have some dinner by candlelight…" he wrapped his arms around her waist, drew her near him and kissed her. "…we'll drink some wine…" He kissed her again. "…and then…"

"Then?" she asked smirking.

"Well, the rest we'll see" he grinned.

"You're crazy!" she said.

„No, I'm in love" he responded. Danny caressed her lips with his fingertips. He smiled.

"Do I know her?" she laughed.

Danny got into the little game. "Uh, I don't think so. You know she's not from New York. Actually she's a country girl. And I started to call her Montana. She didn't like it in the beginning, but now…"

"… but now… now I never want to be called someway else." Lindsay caressed his cheek and smiled. Danny gave her a kiss so overwhelming that she thought she would melt any second.

* * *

She pulled him near and let out a moan as he kissed her neck. Then she guided him back to where she just came from – into the bedroom.

"You know what?" Danny asked smirking. "You're ruining all my plans for the evening"

"Shut up, Messer…" Lindsay smiled and grabbed his shirt. "… I really don't care!"

Danny smiled and wrapped his arms closer around her waist. He kissed her with all intensity. Finally he loosened the towel she was wearing. Lindsay took off his shirt and soon she was kissing his chest. He let out a moan and then he lay her down on the bed.

* * *

Lindsay was lying in Danny's arms, while he was stroking her arm.

"Danny?"

"Mmh" he said.

"What were your plans for tonight?" she asked. Danny kissed her forehead.

"Something very special" he said. Lindsay looked up at him.

"What is it?"

"You'll see." Danny smirked, knowing that his answer would drive her mad.

"Danny" she said reproachfully and started tickling him.

"Stop it, Linds. I'm not gonna tell ya" he said laughing.

"You will or I will torture you as long as you're not willing to tell me" Lindsay said.

Finally Danny overwhelmed her. He grabbed softly her wrists, threw her gently back into the pillows and pressed himself against her. Her hands lay beside her head and he looked into her beautiful brown eyes. She for herself looked into the depth of his blue eyes and got lost in them immediately. She smiled and then he bent down to her to give her one slow passionate kiss after another.

Finally he let go of her wrists and pulled her closer to him as he reached her naked skin on the back. She shivered and placed her hands in his hair. Danny kissed her neck and she let out a soft moan. She let go of his hair and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You definitely put me under your spell, Miss Monroe" he said. Lindsay smirked as he began to kiss her neck down to her shoulder. Then he cuddled into her and smelled the scent of her hair. He could smell the shampoo she was always using. He so loved it when her hair smelled like strawberries.

* * *

Danny slowly woke up. He sighed as he looked out of the window. The whole room plunged softly into the silvern moonlight that fell through the window. He tried to move but stopped as he heard Lindsay softly groan. He smiled and took cautiously her arm, which was lying around his waist and put it aside. Then he kissed her shoulder and got up. Then he got dressed and left quietly the apartment.

* * *

When he re-entered the apartment a little later, he put all the things he bought on the counter in the kitchen. Then he made sure that Lindsay was still sleeping. He leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom and watched her. The moon was shining onto her body, which made her even more beautiful to him. He smiled as he heard her mumbling something. She always did so and he just loved it.

Then he turned and went back to the kitchen. He would prepare everything as he had told her. He wanted to make this one thing in his life perfect. Too much damage was caused in the lives from both of them before. He would try to do everything in his power to make the rest of their lives perfect.

He put the Italian food he'd bought at Lindsay's favourite Italian out of the boxes into different parings…

* * *

As he'd finally moved all of it into the living room, he made his way back into the bedroom. Lindsay was still sleeping, which made him smirking. She could sleep all day long and wouldn't even notice that he was at her side. He often stared at her and just watched her while she was sleeping. She was so beautiful.

He walked over to her side of the bed and bent slowly over her. Then he kissed her shoulder and drew fine lines with his fingertips over her back. She always loved it. He smiled as she slowly turned and opened her eyes.

"Hey sleepyhead…" he said tenderly. She smiled and he bent down to her to give her a long slow kiss. She put her arms around his neck.

"Hey cowboy" she said. He grinned.

"You hungry?" she simply nodded.

"Sorry… then you have to get up" he smirked and closed the distance between their faces once more. He placed one short kiss on her lips and wrinkled his nose. "I love you" he said.

* * *

A few minutes later Danny guided her out of the bedroom into the living room. Shocked by what she saw Lindsay stopped immediately.

She turned to see into Danny's eyes. They were glistening by the shine of the candles he had put up on every inch of the room. In the middle of it there stood the coffee table and a few pillows were lying on the floor.

"Oh my god… Danny, what is this all about?" she asked.

"Well I promised you a dinner by candlelight, didn't I?" he smirked and guided her to the table.

* * *

"Seriously Danny… what is this all about?" she asked as she'd finished dinner. Danny was still grinning. Finally he sat down besides her.

"Well Montana" he began and took her hands and tried to find the right words. He so wanted to make this perfect, but now that the final moment had come, he was speechless.

"Lindsay …" he said and caressed the back of her hands. "…damn… this is harder than I expected."

"Danny?" she stared at him and slightly she became an odd feeling that what he had to tell her wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. "You're scaring me" she said. Danny looked into her eyes.

"Uh… no, no,…" he kissed her. "I'm sorry." Lindsay nodded.

"Lindsay," he finally said. "I love you. More than you can imagine… I mean we have more in common than anyone can see. You made a better man of me. As soon as you'd walked into my life I was head over heels in love with you, though you made it a little bit difficult for me" he grinned. Lindsay smiled.

"Linds," he sighed and put out a little box and opened it. Lindsay held one hand before her mouth as she saw the simple, but gorgeous sapphire ring it contained. "Oh my god" she whispered.

"Lindsay never again I want to be apart from you, even if it's just for one second. I couldn't bear it. You're my better half, you're my confidante. I never want to lose you and I'll never leave you. This I promise you." Danny cleared his voice. He looked her in the eyes and continued. "Lindsay, will you marry me?"

She simply nodded. "Yes" was all she managed to say before his lips came crushing down onto hers. She responded his kiss passionately and she could feel how relieved he finally was.

* * *

_TBC..._ You like it? Please review... I like feedback. 


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **The next chapter will be in present time… thanks for reading this… I hope you'll like it.  
Thanks to my great beta **chris4short**. And thanks to **pepite** who always encourages me to write this stuff when I have doubts about it. You guys really rock!  
Also thanks to you guys – to all who reviewed on the previous chapters. I love your words, so keep them going.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

"All right, thanks Don," Danny said and hung up. He took his jacket and made sure Lindsay was still sleeping. Then he was about to leave the apartment as he heard her calling his name. He turned and went back to her side.

"Hey sweetheart," he said and caressed her cheek. "Thought you were still sleeping."

"You wanted to leave?" she asked.

Danny nodded. "I wanted to go to the lab, just in case if there are any news about Peanut."

"You wanted to leave without me?" she asked again, her voice scared like she was about to lose him, too. She held onto his hand. Danny stroked her hair.

"I'm so sorry. I know I should have woken you, but I didn't want to. Please forgive me." Lindsay nodded. He kissed her forehead and got up.

"I'll call you if they find anything," she nodded again. She got up and sat on the couch, the blanket still around her and Emily's stuffed horse in her arms, she tried to smile. Danny smiled back at her and nodded.

"We'll find her," he said and went to the door. Lindsay sighed and looked out of the window.

* * *

As Danny entered the lab he went straight to Mac's office. He didn't even notice the looks he got as he passed the corridor. Stella and Hawkes were looking up from the evidences they've found in Danny's and Lindsay's apartment and car. They gave each other a pity look and sighed.

Danny stopped in front of Mac's office as he saw his boss reading some case files.

As he saw Mac looking up at him he started his way into Mac's office again. He nodded slightly and entered the office.

"Mac, do you have a sec?" he asked.

"Danny," Mac said. "What are you doing here? Come in."

"You got something yet?" Danny asked straight away. Mac shook his head.

"No, Stella and Hawkes are still working on the evidences we've found in Lindsay's car."

Danny nodded. "Okay," he whispered.

"How is Lindsay?" Mac asked.

"She's scared… what do you think?! How would you feel?" Danny's voice rose. He was angry, not only angry at the one who'd taken his daughter and hurt Lindsay; he was also angry at himself. On their wedding day he'd sworn that he would do all in his power to protect Lindsay and his family, but he'd failed. Danny leaned his body on the back of the chair in front of him. "I'm sorry, Mac. It's just… she's scared, Mac. She's scared she could lose me, too."

"Hey Danny, it's okay."

Danny's cell phone buzzed. He put it out of his pocket and looked at the display. There was no Caller ID. A little confused he answered the call.

"Messer?"

"Well, hello daddy."

"Who is this?"

"You don't need to know, yet."

"What do you want?" Danny's anger rose. He pointed one finger to his cell phone to show Mac that he needed to track the caller.

Soon as Mac noticed it, he was on his way to get someone to trace the call. Danny was listening carefully, listening to something familiar. He turned in search for Mac. He caught him with his eyes and noticed that Mac had a cell phone at his ear as well. He looked in Danny's direction and nodded, which meant that they'd begin the search. Danny sighed. Hopefully he was able to put off the guy until they'd traced him.

"Oh nothing… in fact I have all I needed. Your daughter is really a lovely little girl."

"Don't you dare to touch her!" Danny let his hand fall down on the table. His anger was unbearable.

"It depends all on you, my friend."

"What do ya want from me? Why her? Why Emily?"

"Cause I want you to be torn apart! You have to pay for the things you've done. I will destroy you, Messer! You and your family."

"Keep Emily and Lindsay out of this!"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot do this. You know … you destroyed my family, I will destroy yours."

"At least, let me hear her."

"I'm sorry, I cannot do that."

"Why? Is she alright?" Danny asked scared. God, all what he wanted was to hold his daughter back in his arms. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"She is. But it would break my heart if I would have to wake her up right now. She's such an angel. And in fact I cannot imagine that you're her father."

"Believe me, I am." Danny said a little bit satisfied.

"Well Messer as much as I enjoy our little talk here… I have to go. Will talk to you soon," he hung up.

Danny turned immediately to ask Mac with his eyes if they caught the guy. Mac asked his lab techs. By the look he gave Danny, he knew that the whole thing wasn't successful. Raged he threw his cell phone through the room so that it smashed on the floor.

"Damn it!" he screamed and slipped to the floor. He put his head into his hands. Mac had re-entered his office and was now at Danny's side.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why her, Mac?" he looked his boss in the eyes. Mac saw that his eyes were filled with tears. He touched Danny's head.

"I don't know. Is there someone you have still some scores to settle? Maybe someone from your past?" Danny looked confused. He shook his head.

"No. At least no-one I can think of. Mac, for Lindsay's and Emily's sake… we have to find this guy."

Mac nodded. "We will."

* * *

"Hey Danny," Stella said and hugged him. "How are you?"

He shrugged. Stella stroked his back.

"What you got so far?" Danny asked.

"Well…" she said. "We have some hairs from Emily's seat."

"Any matches?"

"None so far, but we keep searching."

Danny sighed.

"I'll keep an eye on them. If I've found something I'll call you immediately."

"Thanks Stell."

Stella smiled. "Is Lindsay at home?" Danny nodded.

"I told her that she needs to get some rest. The whole thing bothers her a lot."

"You want me to check on her sometime?" Hawkes asked.

Danny nodded. "To tell the truth I'm really scared about her. When I've left to come over here, she held onto me as if she thought she would lose me, too. It would be great, if you could check on her this evening. You can come with me, when I leave the lab later."

"Okay" Hawkes said.

"Also… we've found some prints on the inside of the window in your bedroom and these are definitely not yours or Lindsay's. We're checkin' them."

"I don't understand," Danny shook his head. "Emily was taken out of Lindsay's car. Why did you find some prints in our bedroom?"

"I'd hoped you could tell me."

"No, there was no one in our apartment. At least no one I can think of. Well…" Danny made a gesture. "…you guys were, but I don't think that you touched anything without wearing gloves," he said. "What the hell is going on here? Everything's going so wrong," he sighed and shook his head.

"We'll figure it out, Danny," Stella said and laid her hand on his back. Danny looked into her eyes. "You should go back to Lindsay," she nodded.

"And then what? I need to do something. I just can't sit home and wait 'til you've found something. It's my daughter we're talking about," Danny shook his head.

"I know, Danny. I know this is hard for ya and for Lindsay. Lindsay needs ya at her side now. You have to go home to her," Stella said. "Please Danny, go home," she stroked his back.

"Stell…" he started to complain.

"We're tellin' you and Lindsay immediately if we've find out something new. I promise," she nodded.

* * *

TBC... Liked it? - Please review... I love your words. 


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Oh I feel bad for letting you guys wait so long for an update on this... sorry, sorry, sorry.  
Many thankies and huggles to the best beta on earth ... my lovely **chris4short**.  
I hope you guys will like the chapter... it's still present time.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

"Hawkes," Danny called. Hawkes turned and stopped in his tracks. He was just on his way home.

"You're going home now?" Danny asked. Hawkes nodded.

"Thought you went home yourself hours ago?"

Danny caught up with him. "I've waited for ya. I wanted to ask you, if you could check on Linds?"

Hawkes nodded. "Sure."

Danny smiled slightly. "Thanks." Hawkes nodded. Then they continued their way out of the lab.

* * *

"To tell the truth, I really don't know what I am going to do, Hawkes." Danny took off his glasses and closed his eyes. "I don't think that I can look into her eyes, lying to Lindsay." 

Sheldon looked confused. "Lying to her? About what?"

"I cannot tell her that I talked to the guy who took Emily."

Hawkes stopped. "You did?"

Danny nodded and looked down. "He called me when I was in Mac's office. We tried to trace him, but we weren't able to. He hung up before we had the chance."

"What did he tell you?"

"That he'll destroy my family like I did with his."

"What?" Hawkes grabbed Danny's arm. "What is he talking about?"

Danny shook his head. "I have no idea."

"What about your brother?" Hawkes asked cautiously. He knew that mentioning Louie still hit Danny pretty bad. He wasn't talking about him often, but when he did, he just talked about the better times in his childhood with his brother. Danny stopped and looked straight into his eyes.

"What about him? I never was into his business. I never joined the Tanglewood Boys. I never wanted and I was never proud of what Louie did." Danny looked down to the floor and shook his head. He sighed. Then he looked back at Hawkes and gestured with his hands. "These guys are responsible for what had happened to him. If any, then it would have been me who should've done something to one of them." He breathed out heavy and Hawkes could tell Danny tried hard to stay calm.

"I really don't know, Hawkes. All I know is that I'll do everything in my power to get my daughter back."

* * *

She didn't exactly know what time it was as she woke up again, but she knew it was time for Emily's feeding. So she got up, went to the bedroom and put on one of her more comfortable shirts. Well in fact it was one of Danny's shirts she always wore while breast-feeding Emily. She left the bedroom again and went to the kitchen. She put on the water boiler and prepared herself some tea. It always helped her to calm down while holding her daughter and breast-fed her. It was almost a ritual for her now and she knew, if she would expect another baby, and she so wanted another baby with Danny, she would do it all again... exactly the same way. 

Suddenly she heard her daughter starting to cry.

"Peanut, I'm almost there," she called and filled her teacup with hot water. Then she went straight to Emily's room.

She smiled as she entered the room, seeing all the little clouds on the wall Danny had painted. She so loved him for that, because nearly in the beginning of her pregnancy she'd often told him about the view over the great Montanan wheat fields and looking at the mountains and how the clouds always reflected in the clear mountain lakes, she so missed. One day he'd surprised her with Emily's future room. He'd painted it all alone and then it was that she couldn't even think about one thing why in the world she'd deserved a man like him.

But he just loved her and he was so excited to become a daddy. This was one thing, he'd told her one day as he'd kissed her – back then – still flat stomach, he'd never thought would happen to him.

But it had and he was more than proud of his little daughter and his beautiful wife.

She focused her mind back on Emily.

"Hey cutie, mommy's here and now we'll get only mommy's tea out of the kitchen and then the two of us will be sitting down in the rocking-chair daddy had bought for us and you'll get something to eat."

Lindsay walked over to Emily's baby cot and suddenly reality hit her. She took a few steps back. Shaking her head she collapsed to the floor. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

* * *

Danny opened the door slowly. 

"Lindsay," he called, but got no answer. Hawkes entered the apartment after him. Danny turned.

"Maybe she's still sleeping," he said and laid the apartment keys on the counter next to the door.

"Linds," he asked again and went to the living room. He saw the blanket lying halfway on the couch, Emily's stuffed horse on the floor.

"Danny," Hawkes called. Danny went to the kitchen.

"Ya," he asked. Hawkes pointed on the, still steaming, cup of tea.

Danny looked at Hawkes. "What time is it?"

Hawkes took a look at his watch. "Almost 7:30. Why?"

"Damn," Danny said.

"What's wrong?"

"Lindsay…" he started, but rushed out of the kitchen. Hawkes followed him. Danny went straight to Emily's room. "She's used to feed Emily around 7:30."

He entered the room and stopped immediately in his tracks as he saw her sitting on the floor.

"Lindsay," Danny whispered. He went over to her and knelt down beside her.

"Linds, what happened?"

"I… I wanted to feed Emily. It's time for her!" Lindsay said and looked into Danny's eyes. He shook his head and caught her in his arms.

"She's not here, Montana!"

Danny stroked her back, not noticing that Hawkes was still watching them.

Hawkes watched his friends and it hurt. He couldn't imagine how it felt like losing their own child and not knowing if you would see them ever again. He didn't know how it felt like - at least not now. Though he dated Stella for quite a while now, both of them had decided not to speed things up that fast.

But he wanted to be with her. And he wanted it so badly. But right now, he saw what could happen. And it scared the hell out of him.

"Maybe it's the best, if I would come over another day," he finally said. Danny looked up at him. He released himself from Lindsay and helped her to get up.

"No," he said. "It's okay. I asked you to come over."

"What for?" Lindsay asked. Danny looked at her and rubbed warmth in her arms.

"To check on you," he answered. "The whole situation right now. I don't want you to get hurt more than you already are. I couldn't stand it, Linds."

* * *

"Thanks," Lindsay whispered as Danny gave her the cup of tea. Hawkes sat across from her and checked her blood pressure. He sighed. 

"Lindsay, what were you doing in Emily's room?" he asked finally. Lindsay turned to look at him.

"What?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you want to feed her?"

"I heard her!" Lindsay said affirmative.

"You couldn't have heard her, Linds. She's not here." Danny said. It hurt so bad to see his wife like this. Lindsay looked at him. She pierced him with her look and looked straight into his eyes. Then she shook her head.

"I'm not crazy!" she yelled and let the cup slip down to the floor. "I heard her. I didn't imagine it, Danny. She cried. And I heard it." Lindsay bit on her finger-nails and rocked herself. "I'm not crazy, Danny."

"It's okay, Lindsay." Hawkes said and patted her knee. "I'll give you something so you can sleep, okay?"

* * *

"I'm not crazy, Danny!" Lindsay repeated as he lay her down on the bed and put the blanket over her. Then he knelt down beside her side of the bed and stroked her hair. 

"I know, baby!" he said. "I know." Danny kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I've heard her. And you don't believe me," Lindsay sobbed. "Why didn't you believe me?"

"Shh, honey. Don't…" He stroked her hair over and over, but he just couldn't stand this. It was just too painful. He thought he would lose her on this. He was so scared that they might not make it through, that their love wasn't strong enough for it. He kissed her forehead once more. Then he got up and left silently the room.

As Danny left her, Lindsay had opened her eyes. She watched him leaving the room, could take a look at him, and saw that he left shaking his head, touching his forehead, like he always did when he wasn't seeing any chances for something to end up good. She closed her eyes and felt her tears forming in them. A few of them fell down her cheeks. She wiped them off and was so angry at herself that she wasn't be able to be as strong as he was. She wasn't good enough to be his wife. She'd failed in protecting her baby. She'd failed in being strong; being strong for her daughter and him. She sighed and slowly she felt the sedative Hawkes had given her affecting her body to calm down and sink into a dreamless sleep. First she tried to fight it, but soon she let it come over her body and mind.

* * *

"Thanks Hawkes," Danny said. He crossed his arms and sighed. 

"You're welcome. I'll leave you alone now. Take care of her, alright?"

Danny nodded.

"What you think?" Hawkes looked quite a bit confused.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, what do you think about her hearing Emily's cries?"

Hawkes shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "She's in emotional stress right now. It's quite possible that she's trying to tell herself that Emily is still here and that she needs her."

"Ya," Danny whispered. "But she sounded so confident."

"I know, but we all know Emily isn't here right now. Give her some time. I know it's hard for both of you, but we'll try everything possible to find her." Hawkes suddenly looked down to the floor. He sighed.

_What__ was he __doing__ here? _he thought. _He tried to convince them that they shouldn't give up hope, but how big was the chance that they would see her again? _

He shook his head.

_Why the hell was he thinking about something like that? _

Because he'd seen too much pain. He exactly knew when hope was lost. He knew the very moment… the moment when the hope was brought in, the moment it was lying right in front of him and he had to do the autopsy. Then it was when all hope just died all at once – once again underneath his hands.

"Danny," he said in a very low voice. "You know… you know that we do all in our power to find her." Danny nodded though he had to breathe heavy.

"I don't wanna sound like if I have given up hope yet, but you'd seen it before, too. You should consider that there's the possibility that…" Hawkes stopped. Mainly because he just couldn't tell his friend that he maybe won't see his baby girl again. He saw how Danny was fighting against the tears.

"Ya," Danny whispered finally. He breathed in deeply and looked Hawkes in the eyes.

Danny stepped forward and pulled Hawkes into a _manly_ one armed hug. He patted Hawkes' back and the Doc returned the gesture before Danny stepped back again.

Hawkes nodded.

"Give yourself a chance to rest, too. I know it's hard but right now there's nothing you can do." Hawkes said before he left the apartment. Danny closed the door behind him. He sighed and let himself slip down to the floor. He leaned his head against the door and let his eyes run through the room. Suddenly he stayed focused on the curtain blowing by the warm wind which blew outside through the open window. He closed his eyes and could almost feel the cold wind of this December day as he had this odd feeling for the first time.

* * *

Like it??? Please review... you know that I love you words. 


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